Still

Still

I talk about my husband and my son a lot. I honestly think it’s because God gave them to me as (1) The personification of his grace in my life, and a very close second, for anecdotal reasons! The most interesting thing I’ve seen about my husband turning into a father is how similar himself and my son have become. They’re both geniuses. Particularly with maths, I won’t get out my calculator when my husband is around because he IS a calculator. And my 3-year-old son can read any number up to 1 billion. He can also do simple addition and subtraction, not just in English but in Welsh too. They both love to be quizzed, on literally any subject. Also, they both love to play games. But the hands down the most frustrating similarity they both have? Neither of them likes to sit still.

Oh, my life. Sitting still is like a punishment for them both. Getting Jesse to sit still for more than a minute, without snacks, his favourite movie or an iPad is genuinely not possible. This is to be expected of a 3-year-old to be fair. However, my husband’s inability to sit still is far more subtle and tends to present itself on holiday! – This man had me up and at breakfast by 7.30 am on 10 of the 15 nights of our honeymoon in Indonesia with his tagline being ‘we’ve got to get out and do things!’. His version of relaxing on the beach is genuinely, laughable. Unless he is asleep, stillness is not on his agenda.

I make fun of them both, because I am very partial to a blanket and a lie down. But I genuinely think these two are pretty representative of the human condition and tendency to be uncomfortable in stillness. The oxford dictionary defines stillness as something that is not moving, not making a sound, or free from disturbance or agitation. In this age, that sounds like a dream! To be free from disturbance or agitation? But so many of us resist it, why? If you ask me, stillness in a world where productivity is idolised, confronts the illusion that we are in control of our lives and outcomes through our activity. Being still forces us to lean in and trust the competence of the people around us and that have gone before us.

I'll give you an example. When I get in the car with my husband, I sit still. All the imaginary braking and commenting on his indication timing, is not going to control the outcome of the journey. I must trust his skill, and the fact that he was driving almost 10 years before I was. Stillness in this way makes us uncomfortable, it makes us question whatever It is we think we know, and more importantly, whatever it we think we know of others, and their promises to us.

So how does this idea of human beings being uncomfortable in stillness relate to Easter weekend? Or more specifically? Saturday. Well, I am by no means an expert in sacred time or commemorative history, but I truly believe that the Saturday after Jesus death, was the stillest day in the history of humanity. Particularly for his followers. What is key to remember, is that Jesus was not just any teacher. To his followers, Jesus was the Messiah, the chosen one, the promised king. The one that was coming to rescue them from millennia of oppression. Chronologically, from Father Abraham, there were 2000 years from him until Jesus. People had been waiting for him. Generation upon generation had died waiting from him. And now? His death was not just the death of a teacher, healer and friend. It was the death of thousands of years of promise. They were faced with the reality that the saviour they thought had been sent to them, they may have to continue the wait for, still.

They were absolutely faced with the stillness of uncertainty, and the stillness that comes with not being able to do anything to influence the outcome we are desperate for, but the death of Jesus represented to them another stillness. The stillness that is inducive of waiting. Potentially the most painful kind. They would now have to start 2000+ years of waiting, all over again. And in case it isn’t clear, here is a list of who their Messiah was promised to be to them and who they were having to wait for: The Messiah was expected to be a human descendant of David (2 Samuel 7:12–16, Jeremiah 23:5), a political and military deliverer (Isaiah 11:1–5), a righteous ruler and judge (Isaiah 2:2–4, Micah 4:1–4), a spiritual reformer (Malachi 3:1–4), the restorer of the Temple and worship (Ezekiel 37:26–28), and the bringer of global peace and knowledge of God (Isaiah 2:2–4, Micah 4:1–4). Jesus was the pinnacle of their hope, and in one day, the hope of 2000 years held in one man was gone, the prospect of starting that wait all over again would have been to much for some to bare.

Can I ask you a personal question? How many of you reading this can relate closer to the followers of Jesus on how they felt on that still Saturday than you would like to admit? How many of you are waiting on a promise you thought you would have by now? Worse, how many of you reading this believed that you had been given a promise only for it to be taken away? How many of you are STILL waiting? How many of you are STILL hoping? How many of you are STILL praying? How many of you STILL cry yourself to sleep over what feels like a broken promise from God? How many of you waited, fasted, prayed, believed, only to lose that loved one. How many of you begged God for a baby, only to either STILL be waiting, or STILL healing from loss? How many of you are sick to the stomach at the idea of starting a relationship all over again, STILL waiting for God to deliver on what you are sure He promised you. How any of you are stuck in the STILL? – Me too.

I wish typing this to you, I could tell you that I have a fix for the heartbreak that comes with being stuck in STILL. But I don’t, the reality is, until Jesus comes back for us there will always be longing for the fulfilment of promises. Because he is the promise. But one thing we do have is an advantage on those who went before us. We know how the story ends. We know that the stillness of Saturday is not where it stops. They didn’t, but we do. I will continue that theme tomorrow, so come back to read the conclusion. But it is this knowledge, knowing that he didn’t stay dead, which makes the STILL so much less scary. Your heart may STILL be broken, you STILL may be longing, you STILL may be hurt and confused and that’s ok, I promise you it is, and I promise you He understands.

But what I can guarantee is that Jesus is STILL exactly who he said he was. He STILL does miracles, he STILL breaks chains, he STILL Keeps his promises. He is STILL parting waters, he is STILL healing the sick, he is STILL bringing prodigals home. He STILL loves you, he is STILL sat at the right hand of the Father praying for you. His Holy Spirit is STILL with us. His blood from the cross of calvary is STILL speaking for us. His death STILL atones for our sins, no matter how bad, no matter how dark. The miracle of Jesus is enough, even STILL and even in the STILL.

I’m closing now, and usually I have a scripture that I base my text around but today I don’t, I have several. And whether you are in a season of STILL waiting or STILLNESS itself, these are for you. Be encouraged by the stillness of Saturday. Let the stillness remind you that he is STILL God, and he would part heaven and send his perfect son so you would never have a reason to doubt that he is right with you, even still.

We love you

Agape x

Psalm 46:10 – “Be STILL, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth,” Mark 4:39 – “Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace, be STILL!’ And the wind ceased and there was a great calm,” Psalm 23:2 – “He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the STILL waters,” Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord will fight for you, and you need only be STILL,” Psalm 37:7 – “Be STILL in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,” Job 13:15 – “Though He slay me, STILL I will trust Him,” Romans 5:8 – “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us.”