Pursuit of Happiness

Nehemiah 8:10 - Do not be dejected and sad, the joy of the Lord is your strength. I absolutely love podcasts. I think it’s a mild obsession at this point. I particularly love catching up on preaches from other churches around the world. I love church, I love to listen to preaching, so the fact that in addition to hearing a brilliant message on Sunday in my church, I get to be transported to churches in Leeds, Miami, Oklahoma, Seattle, South Africa just to name a few through the magic of podcasts. It sets my heart on fire. I LOVE it. I fall asleep listening to preaches, I work out listening to them, they are playing while I feed my baby, do dishes, vacuum... if there is a moment in my home where I don’t have to engage with somebody else, I’ll probably put on a preach podcast and go crazy. I don’t know what it is, but I love it. Having said this, I don’t usually love every preach that I listen to (cue gasp, it’s usually the preaches that challenge me in areas I’m not ready to be challenged in, but that’s neither here nor there). 5 years ago or so I was listening to a preach in a message series that was called ‘God never said that’ and this particular preach was called ‘God wants me to be happy’ my walls went up IMMEDIATLEY because of COURSE God wants me to be happy. And the idea that he never articulated in scripture that he wants me to be happy annoyed me greatly. So I stuck it out and listened to the preach while getting more and more worked up. I remember having a physical response to this preach, my heart beat faster, I was getting hot, I remember audibly disagreeing with everything the preacher was saying. He went on and on about how Gods highest calling for us is not happiness it’s holiness. And God does not prioritise our happiness when dealing with us. He commented that it’s very rare that any parent priorities their child’s happiness above all else, and we shouldn’t view God that way. Needless to say by the end of the preach I was so cross, I wanted to put this heretical message to the back of my mind because I was convinced MY GOD WANTED ME TO BE HAPPY ABOVE ALL ELSE. I mean why wouldn’t he? I want everyone I love to be happy all the time and God loves better than me so why wouldn’t he want that for me too?? I concluded only mean parents didn’t prioritise the happiness of their children, and I told myself when I had children, their happiness would be my FIRST and MAIN priority... Then I had a baby... as I’m writing this my son is only 10 weeks old. But I have ALREADY chalked my 19/20 year old parenting philosophy to a giant tantrum that I should put out of my mind as quickly as possible because it is completely impossible to even do the BARE MINIMUM for a baby and keep them happy all the time. I took the liberty of designing my 10 week old sons dream day if his happiness was my priority. I’m literally just getting to know this kid, but from what I know his dream day would go something like this: wake up, feed before he realises he’s hungry, not burp, not change his nappy ever, not take his clothes off but somehow put him in the bath, STAY IN THE BATH ALL DAY, literally never get out of the bath, keep water at perfect temperature with a constant flow interchanging between his hair and body. Do all this while being in the wrap sling with a dummy that never falls out, never brushing his hair or moisturising. And finally keeping a steady bounce motion simultaneously, while constantly feeding. Aside from the fact I can’t physically make that happen for him, I can guarantee he would not be happy if I did what I had just described how I described it. I’ve learned with my son that his happiness can not be my priority, as painful as that is to me, it’s not possible. He HAS to cry to let me know he’s hungry, I have to be okay with him crying getting his nappy changed because I know comfort will follow, I have to get him out of the bath because eventually the water he loves so much will begin to cause his skin harm. I have to strap him into his car seat so he can be safe when we are driving. The list is genuinely endless, but what I have learned in 10 short weeks is that when it comes to his safety, health, and wellbeing his happiness doesn’t get a look in. I am unconcerned with his happiness if what I am doing in that moment is keeping him safe. Now, I am by no means comparing my short 10 weeks of parenting with the infinite love, wisdom an and knowledge of the master parent. The Sansei of parenting if you will, God of the heavens and the earth. It hasn’t even been three months. So don’t get me wrong. I’m also in no way saying that God doesn’t want us to be happy. In my little induction to parenting I already LIVE for the moments where my son is happy, when he smiles or is content or when he’s enjoying the bath, those moments genuinely fill my heart in ways I didn’t know possible. I know God loves when we are happy, as any parent loved when their child is happy. But he wants us to have so much more than happiness. Because one thing that God knows, is that happiness is temporary and conditional, happiness ends. In this life, there is no way to be in a constant state of happiness, right from the moment we are born things make us unhappy, and a loving God and father can not let happiness be the foundation that we build our life upon. So you’re probably now thinking, if God doesn’t prioritise my happiness, and he doesn’t want me to build my life on it, what does he want me to have? There’s a verse in Nehemiah that gives us the answer to that question. ‘Don’t be dejected and sad, the joy of the lord is your strength’ - Nehemiah 8:10 NLT. The answer to that question friends, is Joy. God wants us to have joy! Unlimited, unwavering, undaunted, unintimidated, untameable, unshakeable joy! Okay so I know you could possibly have another question. Because I’ve been reading this verse all my life and still until recently asked this question, if joy is not happiness, what on earth is it? There are two definitions of joy documented in scripture: Joy 1: clapping, singing, dancing (nothing wrong with that at all). But the fact that it is produced by our efforts means we only have access to that particular type of joy when we are in the mood/physically able/ have the time / life allows. Which is where the second type of joy comes in. Joy 2: A special possession of the lord. It’s the lords Joy, something he has that he gives to us. This kind of joy is only mentioned twice in the bible, This kind of joy requires no effort, we do not have to be in the mood, have time or be physically able to attain it. It’s ours, constantly. This is GOD’S joy. This word for joy in Hebrew literally translates to ‘Door in a fence’, meaning Gods Joy is that he made a way for us to worship him, at any moment, at any time. It is Gods joy for us to be in his presence. And getting into his presence is where we can access his own personal stash of Joy. The privilege to enter harmony with God is our strength. We should have joy in the fact that no other creature in all creation has this privilege. Just us. The JOY of the lord needs to be our anchor, the knowledge that we can have intimate fellowship with the creator of the universe needs to be our pursuit. Because that never ever wavers. Rain or shine, up or down, mountain or valley, there is a door in that fence. God made a way for us to be with him, and knowing that, constantly reminding ourselves of that, and then constantly getting into his presence to utilise it is what makes us strong. The pursuit of happiness is exhausting! Pursue literally means to chase! If you chase something long enough exhaustion is inevitable. But THIS joy the joy I’m talking about, we don’t have to do anything! Our only job is to remind ourselves that there is a door in the fence. And even in our darkest most terrible moments, a loving perfect father took JOY in creating a path from ourselves to him, where we could worship and share the hardest moments of our lives with him, so we wouldn’t have to be alone. And he wants to share his own personal joy, with us. We love you Agape x